The Silent Sin

Mind Body Spirit part 2

Body
The battle for the body deals with changing behavioral habits that have led to your addiction. This is often the first area that people start fighting so it shouldn’t be a total surprise to anyone. However, there is much more to this battle then just “not touching yourself”. It’s a start for sure but only a start. Behaviors can be unlearned with time. In my groups we use a rubber band to help train our minds to change behaviors. We wear this rubber band on our wrists, and every time we look at a woman in a way we know is wrong, we snap it. It trains your body that it will not get pleasure from looking at women any more. [Some studies suggest that the pleasure our brain feels from an orgasm is equal to ten hits of cocaine] It may seem silly but many people (myself included) have seen it work. Some say that it takes 30 days to make something a habit or to break a habit. Try it for 30 days and see how much you look lustfully at women after that. (Yes… at first you’ll be snapping it a lot, but snap and look away for 30 days). There are many other tools like this that can help. I’m not going to tell you which one to use because every person is different and some may work and some may not. (I encourage you to share your tools with others in your comments). Beyond behavioral changes there are some habits of being healthy that need to change. When I was dealing with my addiction I was overweight and out of shape. I had no physical outlet for my energy except to act out. It was totally by accident, but about the same time I started to deal with my addiction, I started to get my body in shape, too. I lost about 20 pounds and found a great way to get rid of stress. I work out on weights and do cardio regularly now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been frustrated (sexually or otherwise) and after I worked out, I felt amazingly better. Just like the tools, I’m not going to tell you which one is best. You find something that you enjoy doing and do that. I like weight training and bicycling… what do you like?

Spirit
In my opinion this is the most overlooked part of recovery from addiction. It’s the one area that we don’t recognize as even being part of the battle. I’ve seen churches pray over addicts once, and then wonder why they continue to fail. Some addiction groups suggest finding a spiritual center but don’t help you to explore and grow spiritually. Let’s face it, for many of us the only reason we feel it’s wrong to look at pornography, masturbate, and have affairs, etc… is because somewhere inside us we believe it is wrong. For me, it is my belief in God and his views on sexuality. If I fight on the other fronts but forget to strengthen my belief in God and His commandments, then I will soon lose my desire to fight my addiction at all. With TV, magazines, radio and every other form of media out there saying that it’s OK to look at a woman’s body as an object, you will need to refocus on the reason you believed it was wrong. When I took a philosophy class in college, it challenged my faith in God. That was one class, two hours a week… how much more will thousands of ads every day challenge your beliefs that it’s wrong to act out? Just like before, the way you do it is up to you, but you need to stay connected to the source of your desire to stop your behavior. I choose to read the bible nightly and spend time in prayer to strengthen and grow in my relationship with God. If you don’t believe in God, I would ask you to stay connected to the reason you desire to change. The battle of the spirit is the battle for your desire to fight. Ever see a fight when one of the fighters just didn’t want to be there? I know this… I’ve never seen a fighter who didn’t want to be there win a fight.